Partners who have drifted away from each other over time find they have nothing left in common any longer, and many of them have changed drastically. They no longer see the world in black and white, and the shades of grey they see lead them to believe life can be much better if they are alone. Leaving their partner might be the first step they are willing to take, and it can leave the other person lonely and bitter. They might wonder why this occurred, and they will search for a time to see if they could have done something different. Giving up on love might be their answer, but they should try to move on as quickly as possible.
Losing a partner
When any relationship breaks up, it is a time when at least one person has been deselected. They can see it as a failure of the other person, but they often see it as their own failure to have a successful relationship. Losing a partner can drop them into a deep depression, and recovery can take a long time. It might give them feelings of guilt to go out with others in social situations, but that is the best way to get past the feelings that can keep them from ever having a successful relationship.
Trying to date
One way people make the choice to date someone is to look for common interests. Those who are trying to date after losing a partner might put up blocks or filters that will keep them out of the social arena. They could see it as a losing situation to try being with someone new, but friends and family will continue to try setting them up so they can get back to normal. It might not be successful at first, but they can eventually find someone compatible if they keep going out on dates.
It is not always easy to socialise, and some people prefer to practice before they make even the commitment to go out with someone new. Going through exercises with a professional counsellor might help, and they could ask a friend or family member.
Losing a partner for any reason can be devastating, but it does not have to signal a person needs to become a hermit. While they will go through a period where they question their ability to form a good relationship, they should be gently guided into the knowledge that not every partner will be right for them. Getting back into dating can be difficult, so practicing is a good way to begin if their first efforts in the social arena fail.